I can't believe it's been so long since I've written in this thing, I was getting in such a great habit. I read back through my original postings and it's crazy to me how I've changed only from a few months ago. Life has happened and things are moving along, and I'm such a completely different person now that those postings just reek of anger, frustration and hostility. It somewhat saddens me, but as the same time shows me where I am now and where I've come from.
I did not get into the Refuge in Vero Beach, FL, which was the in-patient PTSD place I really wanted to go to. At first I was frustrated, but I Googled 'Christian PTSD Counseling places in OKC' and as many times and I've Googled the same thing, I've never gotten anything, and now I've found this great place to start doing counseling at. I'm very excited because it sounds amazing, it's close to my house, and I get to stay right here where my family is. I have a great job and an amazing support system and life is going good. I'm going to Victory with my roommate, Lora, and Mark and Jennifer Crowe are amazing! He completely cracks me up every time he speaks. It's great to me the people they have placed on staff there. I have such a heart for the prison ministry and one of the pastors spent time in prison for burglary. He has this incredible testimony and I love that everyone feels welcome in that church!
I actually have had a great revelation since attending Victory. While I was still at The Bridge, we did the David study by Beth Moore, and when Kay Arthur was speaking she just really moved me. So much has happened in my life and I want to use it as a weapon against Satan. I have been through SO much in my life, more than most could even imagine, and without glorifying what I allowed Satan to get away with, I want to allow God to use the things that have happened and I've done in a way that is helpful and healing towards others.
I also just got some devastating news that my cousin, Sean, has been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. He's just a few years older than myself, and our entire family has always been close. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to have to hear the words, "Without chemo, you only have about 6 months to live. With chemo, if it works properly, you could have about 12-15." Wow. I was stunned, shocked, and oddly at peace. Most call me a drama queen and normally I'd be flipping out, but as I prayed I just felt this amazing peace and I'm not afraid. I know that God has it all under control, and I think I'm finally learning to trust Him 100%. I want Sean to live to see a horribly old age, and I truly believe in miracles, so that's what I'm praying for, but in the event he goes before us all, I know I'll learn a lot through all of this.
I'll keep this updated better, because I want to be seen as the person I am, not the person I was! :)
Peace, love & fried chicken,
Chele
