Monday, July 16, 2012

Tour The Prison: My Gang Affiliation

Reflection: Moving to Oklahoma was a dreaded moment in my life.  I was in the middle of high school and I wanted to graduate with my friends.  But one thing I can say about that move was that it definitely saved my life. It got me out of the prison I had been put in and caused me to realize there was more to this life and that I had been set free that day from those guys for a reason......to live.

Oklahoma is flat. If you live here, I'm sure you've recognized this description of our landscape before. It is sparsely populated with trees that all lean one direction due to the heavy winds during tornado season. It is covered, and I mean COVERED, in red dirt that is impossible to get off of you, and it has a lot of cattle. A lot.

Once we moved to Mustang and started school, we were going to Mustang Assembly of God. I went from a youth group of 15 to 250. It was an overwhelming experience, but I learned so much.  I quickly became so involved that I was there almost daily.  I carried my Bible with me to school, clad in my WWJD? bracelet and my Crossfire sticker. I felt official. Once again I was building walls that were of things I thought would keep me safe, but they didn't.  The church can help keep you safe if you allow God to be the Savior.


Reflection: I thought using my friends and my church as a fortress would help me get past all of my hurts.  I still never said a word about what happened to me and I still thought it would go away.  That if I could fill my heart, mind and time with something else, I would forget.  The thing about evil is that it roots itself into your life and it isn't going to go away until you face it head-on.

I loved my youth group. When I was at church, I was free to be someone other than who I truly was. I immersed myself in every aspect of the church, using it as a shield. It became like my gang affiliation. A badge I wore on the outside of my walls that I felt would protect me.

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